The Great Gain

The wind sucked and swished my hair around like a vacuum first then a twister.  "35 miles per hour winds, Sarah," my neighbor admonished.  "Should we cover our plants?  The temperature's gonna drop."  It did drop.  And soccer practice went long on the one night when the temperature plummeted, and the wind raged her fury.  I was cold.  We walked--my son, his friend and I--to keep warm.  Nate shared his too-small-for-me black fuzzy gloves, and I gladly accepted the woolen warmth of his giving heart.

Still chilled in our bones with the kind of cold that doesn't give you goose bumps, but leaves  you stiff, corpsish even, we elbowed our way through the entrance to our home.  Our 70 degree home.  The temperature was set.  I had keyed in 70 degrees earlier in the day thinking what was the use in freezing to death when I didn't have to.  I have that choice.

I thought of pouring a steaming bubble bath and using some of my 9 year old green-tea bath salts my sister gave me after Cort was born.  I hoard them for special moments because they smell like spring and heaven and grass and rivers, and I want to have them for as long as I live.  We keep our thermostat for hot water set HOT.  I like hot water.  Tepid water doesn't clean, doesn't warm, doesn't refresh.  I have that choice.

Taking the red kettle mom gave me for my birthday, I filled it with a steady stream of water from our tap.  I turned the storm-grey knob on our gas stove and watched as flames licked the belly of the kettle.  A mug of clear, hot water blanketed me from the inside out.  I had that choice.

Dinner hour had long since slipped away.  Suppertime too had slipped beyond the grasp of our busy Monday schedule.  We were all hungry.  We'd agreed ahead of time on the menu for the week.  All of us had said we were in, but when the moment came . . . we may have regretted our zeal.  Beans and rice.  One small scoop of each at supper.  For the week.  It's true, chicken, sausage, beef roast, ground chuck, fish, hot dogs, pork chops, bacon, and a myriad of other choices clogged my cavernous freezer.  We had that choice.

I told the boys to chew slowly.  Don't rush, there are no seconds tonight.  And I looked in my eldest's eyes.  Disappointment.  He knew he wouldn't be full.  I knew he wouldn't be full.  You don't have to do this; you know I know your heart.  I don't expect this from you.  He wanted to.  But his face showed what his lips refused to speak:  shock at the reality of hunger.  The first night in his life he will have gone to bed hungry.  He had that choice.

But not everyone does.  Have that choice.  Have a home with temperature set just so.  Have clean water to drink much less pour lavishly into an antique claw-foot tub.  Even have beans.  Even have rice.  Not everyone has that choice.
My first month of SEVEN is winding down.  I've chosen to focus this month on food in an attempt to wrap my senses around world hunger, around the reality that 18,000 people die every day just from hunger, and that's not including those who die from lack of clean drinking water.  Some will call me crazy, and I'm okay with that.  What I can't seem to be okay with, though, is the reality that while I've cushioned my backside with a pantry three feet deep and then gone out and bought bigger pants to contain my greed, children were dying every five seconds.  I needed a radical realignment.  This month has been a good beginning.  A good beginning.

Not having my usual comfortable foods has forced me to remember the faces of children I've never met--children who have never had a single comfort.  It's caused me to think of the anguish that must swallow their mothers' and fathers' hearts in single gulps when they look into hungry, pained eyes and can do nothing to help them.  I want to be a part of their hope.

"For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in . . .I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.' "  Matthew 25:3,40

Did it for Him.  The nameless children of hundreds of destitute regions are not just someones children.  They're God's creation, His masterpieces.  He formed them in their mother's wombs, knows the number of hairs on their sweet heads, and you know what?  Forget the number of hairs on their heads.  He numbers the ones that flitter and flutter to the ground as their scalps bald from malnourishment.  They're His babies, and he planned for them to be a part of this wonderful world He worded into existence.  When I withhold, hoard, keep for myself, I keep from Him.  And when I open palms and purse, release plans and purpose, I do it unto Him.  And wasn't it He who specifically said, "Whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."  (II Corinthians 10:31)  All of it. For His glory?
And while Marie Antoinette cries out, "Let them have cake . . ."  am I just the same as she?  A Christian bellowing in holy tones, "Let them have Jesus."  Let me not insist all they need is Jesus and ignore their bellies bulging with starvation and mud cookies made with oil and water. Jesus himself did not ignore the physical needs of the people He loved.  What of manna, and fish and loaves multiplied?  He made us physical beings.  Dare I ignore His sacred creation's needs under the shiny-cellophane packaging of "purely sharing the gospel and leaving their physical needs to some other organization?"  We are that organization.  We.  The Church.  Me.  I'm broken, undone by that reality.  I'm just one person; we're just one small family.  Could we actually make any difference?  A dent in all this suffering?
In the early moments of day's breaking, before school lessons and ringing phones, emails and music lessons,  I read from I Timothy 6.  "But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. ^"
If we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. With just that? 
Are you, Sarah?
Am I, God?

Because godliness with contentment is great gain, and the Greek meaning of this word gain is the best thing you can procure for yourself.  It must be important. 

I hear of people's investments yielding great gains, but what if we have missed it?  What if while we build our fortunes and pad our retirement funds we have missed The Great Gain?  Is it possible in our haste to be financially responsible citizens, in our hurry to build comfortable, seeker friendly churches with pleasing, paved parking lots, in our fervor to give our children every opportunity, we have somehow missed our purpose?  What if our comfort costs someone else's life? 

What if The Great Gain is discovering the sufficient nature of a God who promised to supply all our NEEDS according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus, and realizing He Is Enough?

And if the best thing I can get in this life is godliness with contentment, then this, THIS is The Great Gain:  That we cease to search for the next best high and realize The High lives within us.  We have all we need pertaining to life, to godliness.  We have HIM.  In HIM is life.  In HIM is satisfaction.  In HIM is contentment.  "And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work." (II Corinthians 9:8)

And when we gain this contentment it is for a purpose--so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.  We are not blessed to spend on ourselves but to abound in every good work.  Every.  In all things.  At all times.
I can't help but think about Timothy's words again.  Content with food and clothing.  Is that how you define Paul's words, having all that you need?

Just food?  Just clothing?
Which food? Rice and beans?  Every day?  Surely not.  We've been given all things to enjoy.  Haven't we?  Where is the cap?  Where do we stop?  When do we say we have given enough?  Can we really ever say, "This much is for you God, and no more.  The rest is for me."?  Can we?  Do we all go out and buy 1990's-hunter-green-water-proof-Ozark-Trail tents from Walmart, sell our homes and find a field to squat in, giving the rest to Haiti or Africa?  Is this what we do? 

These are the questions that wash ashore in my mind like waves on the Atlantic coastline.  They've repeated themselves a thousand times a day this month, and I don't yet have answers.  This I know, Jesus said the path is narrow and few will choose it.  Speaking of sacrifice doesn't sit well with me.  I'd like to cut a check for ten percent and call it a day.  The rest I can find plenty of good uses for.  I've got a bucket list, plans for a fifteenth wedding anniversary romantic getaway.  And could I say, if I dared, that perhaps we who call ourselves Christians have created some form of Jesus-following that doesn't really follow Him at all?  Are we not really just white-washed, sweet-speaking selfish hearts?  Some of us?  Me?  (I don't dare say it.  Sorry I  mentioned it.)
Too though, I know this.  Jesus came to freely give us that thing we lost in Eden--that abundant life.  That walking in the garden with God in the cool of the evenings.  That unlimited access to all the splendor of His creation without fear, without sickness, without pain.  In Him we get that abundance.  I haven't suffered this month.  Not once.  Giving up coffee had to be like losing my right arm--maybe even both arms.  And sugar?  On dear Lord, please restore to my the joy of my sugar . . . I mean salvation. (Ps. 51.  It's in there.)  What I have seen is that I miss the abundance of God because I'm too busy feeding myself.  And not just with food do I fill.  It's television, computer, people, activities, events, projects, things . . . oh dear things.  So many possessions.  And this filling creates a numbness.  I don't feel my great need of God, nor do I feel my great blessings of God.  I miss The Abundance.  The Great Gain. 
It is a beautiful journey--this walking with God--and I'm too distracted by the choices I have to notice it.
Tonight at bedtime, my eldest prayed, "Lord, thank you that we can feel what it is like for the starving children.  Please help the ones in Haiti and Africa . . ."  Thank you for hunger?  Yes, I too am thankful.  Somehow the hunger awakens my sleeping senses to the heart of God.  I'm still searching for answers.  We're ambling, embarking, seeking, learning, and stumbling through.  But for now, at least we are glimpsing some of The Great Gain.

Pray with me:  Jesus, you are life.  YOU are life.  Teach me to seek fullness in YOU.  Align me to your heart.  I'm sorry I miss the way when it is YOU who IS the way.  Help me to see YOU are the GAIN.  Help me to hunger not for more stuff, more food, more places to go, more mountains to conquer, but for the person of YOU.  Fill me.  Amen.

Try Regular Meals--It Might Help

My purse is always full. In fact my sister teases me because my handbags are more like airport carry-ons and generally speaking you could find all things necessary for at least one week's survival on a deserted island. Life's like that too sometimes isn't it? Full of a million things that are necessary, and then overflowing with a second million things that probably aren't, life can become the suitcase that requires one person to sit on top while another attempts to zip it. Yikes! The last couple of weeks have felt that way for me--so many important things that can't go ignored. We needed to finish school, we're building a house, we have commitments at church, birthdays, guests for which to prepare, family emergencies, births, and well, you know what I mean. There are times when I feel like my brain is a tossed salad with all the wilting leftovers from the vegetable crisper thrown in. It's weeks like this when there is of course the temptation to stop doing the important things--time with God, eating right, exercising. Those are such basic fundamental things that we need and yet they are generally the first to go. These temptations are not unique to me and I realize that. I realize also that they are not a new phenomenon. They're the norm. Most of us face these choices every single day. Yet the thing that gets me is this: when we don't take time to feed on God's Word, we are literally running on empty. Last Saturday was so hectic that I realized around 2:00 in the afternoon I had never even bothered to eat breakfast or lunch. It wasn't until my hands were shaking and I felt weak that it dawned on me. I was literally running on fumes. Somehow in the midst of a thousand activities I just forgot to eat. (That's not normal for me!!) By the time I did actually sit down to eat my mind had gone fuzzy, my legs were wobbly and the last thing I wanted to do was lug that bulging purse around with me. I set it on the floor by the table and collapsed into a chair to eat. Sometimes, we forget to feed on God's Word and there are times when that goes on for days or weeks or even months. The tragedy though is that often we're not even aware how empty our spirits are--how void they are of the life-giving, strength-giving, nourishing Word of God. When we do finally come before God often we collapse into His arms utterly empty like I did at the table. It isn't a coincidence that Jesus said "Man cannot live on bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God." (Matthew 4:4) He knew the importance of being filled with the eternal Words of our Heavenly Father. My eldest son even gets this concept. Just the other day as our family was celebrating a friend's decision to become a follower of Christ, Nathan said," Mom, she's gonna need to start to memorize scripture and read it. If she doesn't, she might forget what God has done and not keep following Jesus." Wow. That came from my eight year old's mouth. He reminded us of a story of another man who had given up a life of partying and rebellion to follow Jesus, but fell away not long after. Perhaps had he hidden God's Word in His heart things would have been different. (Psalm 119:11) In John chapter 6 we read the miracle of Jesus feeding the five thousand with five loaves and two fish. I've always wondered why Jesus performed that particular miracle. It just seemed odd to me that He would choose to feed all these people as opposed to healing more people. Recently though as I've been reading over this passage it occurred to me that Jesus gave those people a physical picture of what He wanted to do for them spiritually. In verse 6 it actually says "for He knew what he was going to do." I love that. Jesus knew exactly what He was planning, but He gave his disciples the chance to join in. He is intentional in our lives. He knows what He is doing and we have the choice everyday to join Him. He will accomplish His purpose irregardless of our choice, but when we choose to join in, we witness the greatness of our God. Later in verse ten he tells the people something that I believe to be key. He says "Have the people sit down." Man that is hard for us sometimes, isn't it? Just sit down and wait on Jesus to serve us? You've got to be kidding. We want to get up and get going--get started on the endless list of to-do's in our lives. But Jesus in the face of five thousand hungry men and their wives and children too said, "Tell them to sit down. I'll handle this." One man and at least ten thousand people total and he tells them to sit down! I bet he was thinking to himself "Man ya'll are clueless. I could feed you blindfolded with my hands tied behind my back and I could clean it up too." It's just so powerful to me that He specifically told them to sit. Psalm 46:10 is often quoted and for good reason. There are times in our lives when we need to simply "Be still and know that (He) is God." The New English translation says "Stop your striving and recognize that I am God!" Stop striving. Isn't that beautiful? If I had been there that day I know I would have been running up and down the rows of people taking an inventory of the food. I would have been on google looking for the local grocery store checking to see if I could get a discount on bread for such a large group. I would have been striving to help God. Are you like me in that? Are you striving to help the God of the universe accomplish the menial tasks of your life? If we in the midst of the beautiful fullness of our lives can learn to stop--stop for a bit of time once a day and close our eyes and picture the face of God before us. If we can look Him in the eye and say " God, you and you alone are God. There's nothing in my life that You aren't able to accomplish and handle. Fill me with Your word and may it so penetrate my being that I have baskets full left over to share with others..." then I believe we'll see the power of God in our lives. I don't' want to find myself in a spiritual condition where it's been so long since I've eaten that I can no longer see clearly, no longer focus on the author and perfecter of my faith. I don't want to find my spirit literally shaking because I haven't eaten the truths in God's Word regularly. I have to tell you though that the passage in John 6 is a sad one in many respects. Later on Jesus crosses the lake and another group starts following Him. Some of them are from the group that were fed and probably shared about what Jesus did with the loaves and fish because the passage says they went looking for Jesus. When they found Him Jesus says something very powerful. "I tell you the solemn truth, you are looking for me not because you saw miraculous signs, but because you ate all the loaves of bread you wanted. Do not work for the food that disappears, but for the food that remains to eternal life--the food which the Son of Man will give to you..." (John 6:27) These people didn't want Jesus. What they wanted were full bellies. They were looking for the benefits of Jesus, but they didn't care so much about Jesus Himself. So often when I come seeking Jesus I am sad to admit that I too am coming seeking His benefits. "Jesus, will you provide for this? Jesus will you work this out? Jesus will you help with this?" We want God to work out all of the matters of our day to day lives. The truth is He can work them out and He does, but our focus is completely wrong. Somehow we think that's the end of things, but this world is only the beginning. We work for the things that disappear. Nothing in this life is eternal except the contents of our souls. We need to go before Jesus and say "Fill our souls with the truths that moths and rust will not destroy." When we are filled with eternal things, we are not so quick to run out so to speak. Later Jesus says, "I am the bread of life. The one who comes to me will never go hungry, and the one who believes in me will never be thirsty." (John 6: 35) This I believe is the reason He performed that miracle in the first place. It's absolutely critical that we realize how often we seek Jesus for physical, temporary reasons when He has eternal plans for our lives and wants to fill us spiritually. To never feel thirst or hunger in the core of our beings is an incredibly profound offer. Those days when we are lonely, sad, hurting, angry, empty, longing, lusting, desiring, needing--those are the very days we need to "sit down" before God and fill our spirits on His Bread of Life. I'm not talking easy, perfect lives with no feelings but good ones. I'm talking about being satisfied in the knowledge that we are loved by a God who has planned our lives and our future and knows every need we have and can meet it with hands behind his back and eyes blindfolded. This kind of knowledge requires regular eating at the table of His Word. Back to my purse--there's nothing I can really take out. I need the items in there. It's that way with my life too--the things that fill it are not superfluous items that could be removed. For some of us I'm sure we can free up our schedules a bit, but that's not my point today. My point is this--we carry heavy loads. But Jesus said, "Come to me you who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28) His desire is that we feast on Him, feast on the very words that come from the mouth of God and in so doing we would find rest and refreshment. May we not forget to eat. God's plan for our lives is one of abundance--He wants us to thrive. In order to thrive we must abide in Him. We must drink from His living water and eat the milk and honey of his Word. May we all join each other today and feast at His table. Lord, help us to slow down and take time before You and in Your Word. Thank you for feeding us with the nourishment we need spiritually to accomplish all of the physical things that fill our days. Amen. Read: John 15